Infantile
by Ebony Glasse
Summary: [ONE SHOT] Azula. Princess of the Fire Nation, and sister to the banished Prince Zuko. Cold and unwavering in her duties, even she has a heart. One that was scarred since young... From the little wants of a child. Herself.


Heyyy…. This is my first time writing an Avatar fanfic… So go easy, okay? Hehe… This is a one-shot. I might plan to write more, but that's all it would remain as – a plan. I've got wayyy to many stories to update as it is.

I don't know much about Azula, but I'm the kid sister in the family, and I wasn't feeling very warm towards my bro when this idea popped out… So there. And the character of Azula here and everything… is just as it is. A fanfic. So don't tell me 'Azula's a big fat meanie' or stuff like that – I disclaim her here, as I do Avatar!

**Infantile**

She loathed him.

She was the better – why was he always the one with … what? She couldn't name it…

Just because he was the elder? The heir? He was just another kid inside, she knew. The way he never seemed satisfied till he achieved anything and everything…

Zuko was just her weak, older brother.

She, Azula, was far stronger than he would ever be.

_That _she knew. It had been that way since they were kids – because she trained hard. Harder than anyone knew – even a prodigy needed to. Harder than anyone would think from a child, and definitely harder than anyone thought from a princess.

But none of _those_ people mattered.

All she wanted was the attention of her parents. Maybe even her brother - her rival. She had seen, as a child, how her father had changed. How her mother seemed so saddened by it, and how she doted on Zuko more often after… And all the while she left herself cart wheeling with her friends. Literally.

She wasn't good in everything – as a matter of fact, fighting was the only one of the few things she excelled in. The much gentler things would probably have been Zuko's forte, had he tried them out. (Something that he would probably think not to do of, if he found _cart wheeling _girly and childish, even as a kid.) She smirked as she imagined a picture of Zuko sewing and cooking using a frilly pink apron with a turtle-duck picture printed on it.

She sighed inwardly as she fingered one of her bangs – had she done the right thing? She hadn't thought of her father's punishment to be this heavy – but it might not have been so bad have Zuko at least _tried _to fight him. She had practically controlled all of the strings behind Zuko's banishment. With her growing powers, her father had favored her more and more. Her mother, though, had been increasingly disappointed in her. Her brother snapped at her more often.

Which was why… she had done it.

She knew of her brother's pride – it was her who had told her brother of the meeting. Known of the General's plan to sacrifice the new recruits. Known of her brother's… _passion _for his people. Held back Iroh for a while to make sure he met up with Zuko, knowing Zuko could be quite convincing at times. Knew how touchy her father would be.

She had it all planned out – it was another way one of her ways to bully Zuko – the way she always had since they were kids. She had been deeply satisfied by his burn, but his banishment? That came as a bit of a shock to her…

She frowned – why was she dwelling upon these thoughts? They had happened months and months ago. The lines between her forehead deepened. She looked around her – the world. Chasing after the Avatar after seeing the little airhead flapping through Omashu. The trees stretched around her, and she could see snow-capped mountains in the distance. Her mount was behind her, and a river flowed its way steadily before her. A beautiful night, yet…the black sky seemed to press its darkness around her. Not knowing why, she flicked her wrist slightly for a source of light and warmth.

Her flame was not blue.

She gasped.

She banished it as her head went into turmoil. Remember, recall – what had she read? 'That the one of the blue flame…'

_Should not feel._

She blinked. Come to think about it, this was probably the first time she had felt remorse for anything she did to Zuko, after years. A cold and familiar yet… comforting feeling gripped her heart once more. Maybe blasting old man Iroh had struck a relapse chord in her head.

She looked upon her reflection in the river. This was the face of the heiress to the Fire Nation throne, Princess Azula. Yes, that was who she was. She was a _princess. _She was a creature that was to be respected, dignified and poised. She had to lead a whole nation.

Thatwas _what_ she was.

Her reflection in the river seemed to mock her. Thiswas _who_ she was.

'_To know the difference between an item and a living thing.'_

She was just an item.

No…

To her father?

_No…_

To the Fire Nation?

**_No…_**

Simply to be used and manipulated, just because of her prowess?

_**NO!**_

Yet…. A part of her knew that it was the truth. She bit her lip. What was she to do? She looked at her reflection once more.

'_What… happened to me?' _she wondered. From the little girl who just wanted the attention of both parents… To this… _stranger. _And then she guessed why she was always so jealous of Zuko…. Even when she was the better.

'_He knows who he is… He may never have gained the favor of Father, but he never lost in himself in trying to impress him… Unlike… me…' _she grimaced. No, she had to banish these thoughts from her head.

Item she might be, she was still a princess. And she still had to serve the Fire Nation. She would not fail them. Her hand flared. This time, blue fire spat once more. She gave a cold smile. Deep inside, a small voice whispered.

'_How infantile…'_


End file.
